The CoVID-19 pandemic has stricken the lives of everyone in the Rice community. Perhaps most maliciously, it has evaporated that which is dearest to the hearts of Rice students: occasions of extreme alcoholic imbibery. Beer Bike, public parties, private parties, really any party or event with any alcohol whatsoever — the sole sources of utter contentment and happiness to which each and every student of Rice is entitled by divine right— have been ceased and extinguished by the whims of the nano-adversarial coronavirus. Must the students of this college resort to practicing virtue, selflessness, or other such wickedness to bide their Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday nights?!
It is with this fervor that we introduce the Pandemic Party Ticker: a novel invention which surpasses even the novel coronavirus itself in novelty. Fear large crowd sizes no longer! Enslave your poor Freshman volunteer, equipped with the Pandemic Party Ticker at an event's entrance, to maintain an accurate and reliable count of who has crossed the threshold. The device has been uniquely programmed to count only up to the number 15, allowing you to keep the attendance safely low and the spirits dangerously high! When the event concludes, or when RUPD has discovered that you are hosting an event with alcohol at an illicit time to be doing so, simply tilt or shake the Ticker — within a fraction of a second, the count will reset to 0, proving that no one showed up to your event anyway because that would be reckless.
Note: the prerequisite to use this device is ELEC 220, as its 15-count capacity utilizes a singular hexadecimal digit which is not comprehensible by the average MECHy.











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