The Cat's Out of the Bag

Battles have been raging for decades, with opposing sides rising and falling like waves on the ocean. But now the war to win the Internet has been won, and we are happy to report that the victors are adorable.

Cats have long been known as the unofficial mascots of the Internet, with cat-related videos, images, and memes among some of the most viewed content on the Web. But in a recent unexpected development, cat technology has made a quantum leap that has cat-apulted felines to the pinnacle of achievement. Cats have created a technology so powerful that even spray bottles and cucumbers can no longer stop them.

This marvel of the modern age is no doubt a turning point in history. No longer will we refer to a groundbreaking invention as the best thing since sliced bread. Sliced bread has been thoroughly outmoded by the brilliant CatGPT, which will be the new standard by which everything else is measured.

This clever kitty technology leverages the inferior human ChatGPT large language model to create a chatbot, or more accurately, a catbot, that can respond to prompts in the style of a cat. And for good measure, cute and hilarious pictures of cats are returned along with every response. The ChatGPT API and a pawsome plugin power CatGPT on the backend.

CatGPT’s development once again raises concerns about the proliferation of AI, as well as questions about the potential threat of these technologies to humanity. The majority of technically-inclined people tend to see these discussions as being more alarmist than a real concern, but now there can be no question. Meowchine learning is in fact going to take over the world and supplant human dominance. But they are just so cute, how could we even try to stop their evil plans?

If you have used ChatGPT, then the CatGPT interface will be immediately familiar. The humans at OpenAI have most likely stolen their design from cats, but retribution is finally at hand (or rather, paw). After logging in, the key point to know is that you should select the “CatGPT-FURR” model, which means you will get real AI-powered responses in one of our silly human languages. Unless you have a superior intellect, that is, and can speak the much richer universal cat language, in which case you can run the “GPT-Meow” model, which is the world’s first Large Meow Model (LMM). Technical details have not been released, but it is rumored that this LMM was trained on a dataset collected from tens of millions of calicos, tabbies, bengals, and more to ensure that it is well generalized and adaptable to any scenario.

CatGPT is free to use, as long as you do not count the future cost of our subjugation to our new cat overlords. If you would still like to contribute, and possibly earn yourself a measure of favor before the Mew World Order takes hold, there is a link available to make a donation to the Humane Society.